


10/01/20: softest parts

by excelsi_or



Series: to a boy i love right now [22]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excelsi_or/pseuds/excelsi_or
Summary: She and Jihoon have agreed to cook dinner for everyone, but Jihoon comes over and finds her crying in the bathroom.
Relationships: Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: to a boy i love right now [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1252010
Kudos: 11





	10/01/20: softest parts

_January 10, 2020_

Jihoon lets himself into her apartment. Seungkwan has class late, so the lovebirds agreed to cook dinner. It has somehow evolved into everyone coming for dinner, which is why Jihoon left work early to come and help. Except the kitchen is bare and it doesn’t sound as if she’s home.

“Jagi?” He watches her suddenly burst out of her bedroom and run across the apartment to the bathroom. The door slams closed and Jihoon stands there stunned. Concerned, he heads to the bathroom. Lightly, he knocks. “Jagi?”

“I’ll…” Jihoon faintly hears her take a deep breath. “I’ll be right out. Just…” Another struggling breath. “Give me a second.”

Jihoon stares at the door for a moment, trying to process the situation. His mind runs through various scenarios, piecing things together from their message thread. She sounds distressed and no matter what he comes up with, nothing leads him here. He slides down the wall and sits on the other side of the door, waiting for her.

“I’m right here, jagi.”

She doesn’t respond, but he can hear her sniffling.

That confirms she’s crying. Plus the deep breathing, or struggling to, he assumes she's either just had a panic attack or is on the verge of one. When he’d come over that one time, she’d fallen asleep and he’d stayed the night. They hadn’t spoken about it much after that. He didn’t want to broach it and assumed that his open book girlfriend would discuss it with him. But she hasn’t.

And now he’s here entirely unequipped for the situation.

Jihoon’s head tips back and rests against the wall. His trained ears are picking up every sound on the other side of the door. When the door unlocks, naturally, his eyes look upwards, expecting her to be standing. Instead, the door swings open and he doesn’t see her.

Confused, Jihoon leans forward and finds her parallel to him, leaning against the cupboards under the sink.

Her cheeks are flushed, her hair is up in a messy bun, and her eyes are red from crying. Jihoon waits for her to say something, but no words come.

“Do you need anything?” he asks.

She shakes her head. She won’t even look at him, but she holds a hand out to him. Instinctively, he takes her hand in his. Suddenly, her grip tightens so much he feels all his bones rub together. Jihoon swallows down his own panic, because it probably won’t be helpful. But he honestly has no idea what would be helpful right now.

However, she seems to have an idea. Gently, despite her death-like grip, she tugs him towards her. He scoots across the floor so he’s closer to her.

“Do you want a hug?”

She shakes her head again. “I just want you to hold me,” she breathes, her eyes closed, head leaning back against the cupboard.

Jihoon doesn’t know the difference, but slowly, he reaches for her. Her body rotates so that her back is against his chest and his arms fall around her, his hands draping onto the floor between her legs. Jihoon can hear her trying to take deep breaths, but more so, he can feel her heartbeat thrumming fast through her body.

So Jihoon takes deep breaths behind her. As he does this, he feels her body relax into him, her head falling back into his shoulder, fingers lightly intertwining with his own.

_Inhale, 2, 3, 4._

_Hold, 2, 3._

_Exhale, 2, 3, 4._

_Hold, 2, 3._

Jihoon isn’t sure how long they sit doing this, but he can feel himself calming down. Eventually, she sits up straighter and turns to face him, her legs going over his, leaving space between them.

Toying with his fingers, she mumbles her thank you.

“I didn’t really do anything.”

She lifts her eyes to meet his, smiling slightly, which eases the worried part of him. “You did enough. And I think you deserve an explanation…” she tosses his hand up and down in her palm, “don’t know if it’d be any good.”

“Try.”

She nods her head. “Things sort of pile on top of each other and I find it easier to put the emotions on the back burner than deal with them. By the time I hit a tipping point, I have a bundle of emotions I haven’t addressed and it can be overwhelming.”

“How long have you been crying today?”

She shrugs. “On and off for two hours.” Jihoon tips his head in question. “School, group projects, my siblings. Future stuff.”

“Future stuff?”

She chuckles a little, though the sound is still watery. “Yes, future stuff with you.”

Jihoon nods, wondering if future stuff with him is worth it if it does this to her.

She uses the back of her hand to rub her eye. “My prof made a comment about my answer that just rubbed me the wrong way.”

Jihoon’s hands have slipped under the back of her shirt and taps rhythms on her skin. “Are you okay to make dinner?”

She yawns, but nods. “Yeah, I’ll just be tired.” She leans forward, her forehead pressing into his chest. His hands move up and down her back, humming a song he’d been working on before coming over. “That’s new,” she mumbles.

Jihoon smiles, pleased that she can tell. “Yeah, I’ll show it to you before bed tonight.”

She hums in response. “I’d like that.”

Jihoon kisses her head and she straightens up.

“Let’s go make dinner,” she says.

Jihoon waits for her to get up, but receives a kiss on the cheek instead. It’s slow, her lips lingering on his cheek longer than usual. When she pulls away, she’s centimetres away from his face. He admires the way her eyelashes brush her cheek and how the crying has made her irises seem larger.

“All good?” he murmurs.

Her eyes close as he presses a kiss to her forehead. “All good.”


End file.
